Good day everybody! as you all know, Tradiproc-C is about African culture and traditions. One of the practices we find almost everywhere in Africa is polygamy. For some men, it is the solution against cheating (really???); as for some others it is totally unacceptable. Women, in another hand, are almost all claiming the abuse in this practice.
Now, what is my opinion regarding the matter? where do I stand? Here is my point. I am totally FOR polygamy!!! Yes, I said it!!! FOR and not against... Now, here are my reasons, which you don't necessarily have to agree with:
- A man will ALWAYS cheat! So, instead of having him sleeping around, i know who he is doing it with. Therefore, there is no lie between the spouses.
- Black African families are not nuclear families, having many "houses" build this feeling of togetherness for the children.
- In case of infertility of the first wife, it is important for a man to have a second wife in order to have children.
- A second wife is like a complement. Perfection is not from this world; therefore the first wife might not fully satisfy the husband. He will then have unsatisfied needs which could be compensated by another woman. It's way better than divorcing a woman you still love, but who couldn't fully satisfy you.
- It brings competition in the relationship. The spouses will always want to look their best and behave their best not to be the "less loved". The spouses will then take more care of themselves (and not just sit there and think: "I already have him, so what???")which could lead to have a better health and stay young longer...
- The husband has no reason not to give the spouses their allocated time. He knows they both need him, and they always look forward to the time they are given.
These reasons are just some of the goods reasons to choose polygamy over monogamy.
BUT
These are not good reasons if:
- Both wives are not supportive of each other. Children need harmony to grow up in a safe environment. The spouses must considerate all children as their own and always think of their well being first. This also implicates:
* never argue in their presence,
* never call their mother names to hurt them or say things like "go to your own mum",
* always respect each other. The first wife is the elder regardless of her age,
* sit together often.
- The husband does not distribute the allocated time as discussed by them three.
- The trio does not sit and discuss constantly about the issues encountered.
- The husband is not fair in the decision taken for the wives or the founds allocation.
If all these points are respected, a polygamist family can work perfectly.
HOWEVER
It is important to put things in their context. having many wives and many children nowadays is almost like committing suicide by strangulation(lol!!!). Money is a big issue and providing for one wife and two children is already a day-to-day fight.
Also, women are more possessive and relate more to romantic movies, which makes it more complicated to tell them to "share" what they consider theirs. the first wife will then never accept to have a co-spouse and the second wife will only come on board because she thinks of taking the first position. No respect for the first one, no consideration of the other's children, and so on...
SO YES I AM FOR POLYGAMY IN A PERFECT WORLD!!! BUT THE WORLD IS EVERYTHING BUT PERFECT, ISN'T IT???
